The Impossible Dream
by embrace-your-inner-dork
Summary: If you do something for love, does that make it the right thing to do? That night at Godric's Hollow, Halloween 1981, wasn't the first time Peter Pettigrew had betrayed his friends. ABANDONED, BEING RETOOLED
1. The Butterfly Effect

**Chapter 1: The Butterfly Effect **

You know, they say something even as slight as the shift in wind from the gentle flap of a butterfly's wing can set off a chain reaction that transforms everything around it dramatically. Would anyone, then, have guessed that the wind within a tightly-knit group of friends would become torrential enough to toss them apart, because of the wing of a delicate girl?

We had just been chatting amicably in our compartment on the train to Hogwarts. Remus had gone to catch up with the trolley lady--James and Sirius rather didn't feel like it, and I'm not sure they entirely trusted me with everyone else's food. In any case, and I'm not sure how it started, but James and Sirius started play-wrestling. I decided to keep a keen eye out...

Okay, so I edged over to the other side, thinking that they were rather too convincing, if it was only play. But I was keeping watch, you know, to make sure there weren't any bloody noses and things. Then a rustling sound came from outside the compartment. Oh, was that a relief! I couldn't handle violence well by myself. "Remus, thank Merlin you're back, they're getting a little--"

Oh, but it wasn't Remus.

A tiny pigtailed girl poked in, a hand-woven flower garland on her head. She looked around hesitantly, before smiling sheepishly and squeaking, "Er, 'ave you got room for one more?"

James and Sirius looked at each other, frozen for a moment. But then...I knew that look. Sirius cocked his head at the girl, a smarmy smirk playing across his face. "Sorry, Byrd. I don't quite understand your chirp-chirp-chirping, but only humans can sit in here."

"I don't know if you've got the right idea, Sirius," James nodded. "She may be called Byrd, but she looks rather more like a chipmunk." To emphasize his point, he bared his teeth and puffed his cheeks out. That worried me, though--I had chubby cheeks and buck teeth, just like she did. Did they say those things about me too?

The girl put her hands on her hips. "And 'ave you a problem with animals? I should 'ope not, since I seem to be lookin' at a couple of monkeys. You could let me sit in 'ere, an' it'd be a regular zoo, don't you think?"

"Ooh," James and Sirius said in unison.

"Got you stumped, haven't I?"

James snorted. "Hardly." Turning to Sirius, he nudged him in the side and asked, "Say, isn't she friends with Mel--Melanie--Melody--that bookish girl you bug?"

"Now that you mention it, yes, she is," Sirius grinned, not giving the girl a word in edgewise. "Only the difference is Thompson never _opens _her gob, and Byrd here never _shuts _it!"

They started laughing all over themselves, and personally I thought they were treating this poor girl horribly, and I had even been mentally cheering for her rather than my friends. What had gotten into me? I didn't dare speak up against James--I didn't have anyone else to fall back on. Sirius drove his elbow into my rib, expecting me to join in with the insults. At the same time, the girl looked at me pleadingly, like a kicked puppy, just _staring _at me with those big brown eyes tearing up behind her thick spectacles. She was hinging on the hope I was better than them. I don't think I was, but I locked with her gaze. I just...couldn't help myself.

I think James and Sirius were saying more mean things about her, and I think I actually started to reach out to her, and then I think Remus came back with everyone's sweets and asked,"What's she doing in here?" Then she turned her face--I _know _that part--and she ran out. And then I think someone--James, maybe, or else Remus--asked if I was all right. I think I told him yes, whoever it was, and I think I took my Cauldron Cakes and iced pumpkin juice, and I think I ate them, but maybe I didn't even touch them the rest of the trip.

All I knew right then was that girl.

I was thirteen, and the wind was shifting.

James and Sirius and Remus were on the train to school, but I was chasing that butterfly.


	2. Lessons Learned

**Chapter 2: Lessons Learned**

"Peter...Peter...you okay, Peter?"

"What's the problem?"

"Yoo-hoo, Earth to Pete!" James' hand waving frantically in front of my face finally broke through the faraway muddle of voices. I blinked, aware, and he cocked his head at me. "Something wrong? We've almost got this Animagus thing down, but you're behind, and that's not like you. This is your subject, Pete. What's up?"

Sirius frowned at me, as he'd made a habit of doing. "You're distracted or something. What could possibly be more important than your friend?"

Well, when he put it that way...

"Oh, lay off him, Sirius," James retorted. I could always count on him. "You don't have to guilt-trip the poor guy. He's only human."

"Exactly what we're trying _not _to be here! But, hey, if he's got better things to do than help Remus, he can be my guest."

I didn't dare say anything; that was the _last _thing the argument needed. Luckily, I didn't have to, as James said, "Oh, come off it; we've been working at this non-stop. His brain's probably fried, and honestly, so is mine, so why don't we just call it a day?" He playfully slugged Sirius in the arm to drive the point home.

In seconds, Sirius' face brightened, and you'd have never been able to tell he'd even been cross with James at all. They went off to lunch together, leaving me alone in the Room of Requirement. It was for the better, though I'm usually not an alone person. I needed to think. They'd been right; I _was _distracted.

It had been two years since that incident with the Byrd girl on the train. I'd found out a lot about her since then--her first name was Amaryllis, though she liked to be called Amy, and she was a Hufflepuff in my year. I learned that her strong suits were in Charms and Arithmancy, and that she idolised Lily Evans in much the same embarrassing way I adored James. I learned that she had a wide variety of friends; Gryffindors Emmeline Vance, Juliana Radcliffe, and Melody Thompson; Hufflepuffs Timothy Perks and Adeline Midgen; and Ravenclaw prefect Septima Vector. I learned that she was a painter, vegetarian, pianist, activist, and all-around flower child that loved Muggle culture yet wanted to grow up to be a wandmaker.

And I'd talked to her, really, when I could manage. You see, I'd also learned that my friends didn't like her at all.

You're probably going, duh, stupid Peter, you couldn't tell by the train incident? Well, that was just a little thing. I mean, they really, _really _didn't like her. And I had no clue why, other than that she was friends with Melody, and everyone in school knew that Melody and Sirius didn't get along.

But we had talked, and were actually semi-decent friends, when the others weren't looking. And with Remus entertaining a flirtation with James' Quidditch rival Ellie Petty, James chasing Lily, and Sirius on-and-off dating Pandora Vernon, they were kept sufficiently busy when we weren't all pranking, so maybe they didn't even notice when I went off with her.

Voices on the other side of the wall brought me back to reality, so I listened to make sure no-one was coming in.

"I need help with my Arithmancy assignment tonight," a husky female voice said.

A familiar airy Cockney answered, "Again? Adeline, did you only stay in that class for the teacher?" I bit my lip. It was her. I could imagine her, big brown eyes rolling in exasperation, long blond pigtails bouncing as she walked.

"Oh, as if half the school doesn't fancy Professor Cartesian."

"And I'm one of 'em, but Adeline, this is a very serious class." I was still picturing it. She'd probably stopped and turned to face her friend, lowering her glasses down the bridge of her button nose. She may not have looked like a force to reckon with, with her elf-ears and freckles and pouty lips, but she meant business. Then I fancy her face softened upon realising she's offended her friend, before breaking into a forgiving buck-toothed grin, because she then said, "All right, I'll 'elp you. What're friends for?" And in my mind's eye, I saw her skipping down the hall, her tiny, spritely body almost floating through the corridor.

And then, allowing myself to slide down the wall, face bright red, I learned the most shocking and painfully obvious lesson of all.

I had fallen for Amy Byrd-- _hard. _


End file.
